Overcoming Your Fears About Others in Difficult Times
Unfortunately, the coronavirus crisis is undermining some basic bonds of trust that hold society together. We are told to now wear protective gear, keep people 6-feet away, or shun some people who have or potentially have the virus entirely. Later, when the shelter-in-place and avoidance requirements are removed, these changes may endure. We may get used to keeping our distance or feel uncertain about how to react to those who have distanced themselves from us.
Being fearful can also lead us to separate ourselves from others, because we fear those we should trust. It can lead us to retreat when we should move forward. That’s why some commentators have called fear the most dangerous emotion or said that the biggest danger comes from being afraid. In response, we need to take a realistic, reasoned action to confront and overcome that fear, such as a fear of being too near to others by finding other ways to connect.
Thus, once you are able to do so, reach out to those you have been close to in any way you can. Check in by phone or email as you can to say hello and share how you are each feeling. Perhaps send a letter. Offer the lyrics or a song in written form, or send a file or link to a music video you find comforting or inspiring. Create virtual meetings using Zoom, GotoMeeting, or other platform, where you can talk on your computer or phone. Once you can do so, arrange to meet in a face-to-face meeting or in a small group.
Use these virtual and other types of meetings as a check-up to see how you are each doing — and hold back on the usual business pitches at networking and referral business meetings. You want to be sure everyone is okay first, and be ready to offer your sincere support for others as you can. Later, as it seems appropriate, you can talk about your business and how it can help others, but initially show how you want to help others to show you care.
Now here are some quotes about dealing with the fears of others from my book Over 100 Ways to Understand and Deal with Your Fear and Anxiety.
Fear of Others
“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”
Gandhi, Indian activist and leader of the Indian independence movement,1869–1948.
“Fear is the most debilitating emotion in the world, and it can keep you from ever truly knowing yourself and others — its adverse effects can no longer be overlooked or underestimated. Fear breeds hatred, and hatred has the power to destroy everything in its path.”
Kevyn Aucoin, American make-up artist, photographer, and author,
1962–2002.
“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.”
Shirley MacLaine, American film, television, and theater actress, 1934-present.
I’ve also posted a song on YouTube that seems especially apropos. It’s called Feeling Better in an Upside Down World: https://youtu.be/SVkS0JNNBCQ
seminar leader, specializing in business and work relationships, professional and personal development, social trends, and popular culture. She has published 50 books with major publishers. She has worked with dozens of clients on memoirs, self-help, popular business books, and film scripts. Writing samples are at www.changemakerspublishingandwriting.com.
She is the founder of Changemakers Publishing, featuring books on work, business, psychology, social trends, and self-help. The company has published over 150 print, e-books, and audiobooks. She has received national media exposure for her books, including appearances on Good Morning America, Oprah, and CNN.
Scott is active in a number of community and business groups, including the Lafayette, Pleasant Hill, and Walnut Creek Chambers of Commerce. She does workshops and seminars on the topics of her books.
She is also the writer and executive producer of 10 films in distribution, release, or production. Her most recent films that have been released include Driver, The New Age of Aging, and Infidelity.
She received her Ph.D. from the University of California, Berkeley, and her J.D. from the University of San Francisco Law School. She has received five MAs at Cal State University, East Bay, most recently in Communication.